Live your best life

You are more than a thought, a label, a set of beliefs, roles or functions: only your ego identifies with these things. Knowing your true self is rooted in simply BEING. Breathe. Be present in the moment. You are awareness.

This little nugget is having a lot of firsts this weekend:  -first weekend away at Girl Guides camp -first time packing her own bag -first time eating hard shell tacos -first time cleaning toilets... I am so excited for her! I can’t wait to hear all about the scavenger hunts and the campfires, the friendships and the conquered fears. I know she will be the boss of yoga class and the best chef and cleaner. She’ll be scared to try new things unless she has a buddy who is even more scared, in which case, she’ll step up and be the bravest. She’ll be shy at first but her laughter will ring out the loudest by Sunday morning. She is my first, and she has taught me all my important life lessons: - that love is unconditional - that kindness is a religion - that acceptance is worth more than anything else you could give someone - that creativity and fun are always a priority.  Everything I do is better because of her: my work, my friends...

No disrespect to vulnerability, but that's not the end goal. Being vulnerable at the wrong time, with the wrong person can force your heart shut faster than you can say "courage". The point is to create an atmosphere of trust, safety, and respect so that vulnerability is a natural choice, and not a terrifying leap you'll regret later.

$1700/mo for 1-bedroom apartment in Toronto. That's over $20,000 a year (as a reference point, a single person with a salary of $52,000/ yr is actually getting $40,000 after tax. Let's talk about how we're not supposed to spend over 25% of our income on fixed living costs, and pretend we don't need to save for retirement. How can you support a child or a family in Toronto? How do you come to terms with home ownership not being a realistic goal in your lifetime? How do you afford a car AND an apartment... or are you supposed to choose? I guess since all we do is work and spend time on our phones, we probably don't care about any of those things. And those rising rates of depression and anxiety must be because we were coddled as children and not because no matter how hard we try to live our parents' version of a successful life, we can't achieve it without the sacrifice of our souls and sanity. So yeah, I guess that's why we wonder endlessly if it's ...

It's not enough to learn to use your strengths. You must accept yourself as you are - no ifs, ands, or buts. This radical acceptance will become your superpower, and you will no longer need to use people or distractions to treat your insecurities. Accepting yourself is a sort of re-parenting that reminds you that you are lovable, you have intrinsic worth, and you belong (if not here, then somewhere else). Most importantly, you remember these 3 truths: 1. You matter (not more or less than others - just as much) 2. You have always been good enough (so you start acting like it) 3. You can trust in the beauty and goodness of who you really are (so you stop listening to everyone else, and instead turn inward). Everything we do in the world should serve these truths. And if we are parents, we must raise our children in such a way that they do not ever abandon or reject themselves.

Some of us are so caught up trying to get water from a dry well we completely miss the oasis in the distance. Or worse, we see the oasis and choose to wait the well out, or improve our digging habits, as though through sheer determination and resourcefulness we could survive in the desert without water forever.

If you're facing some challenging family situations this weekend, remember to breathe deep, take it easy, and forgive yourself and those around you... whether it's for a problematic past, a frightening future and/ or a painful present. Everyone is holding some pain accumulated years ago, unprocessed and sensitive to the touch. Years later the mind relives and reacts to moments that remind us of this emotional pain. It's ok. Accept it, hold it, and release with the consciousness of the adult you are now. You can overcome it. You don't need to be scared or reject it, or wish it away.  Your cross is your spiritual path - it's going to lead you where you need to go, and it will prepare you along the way. It won't always be this hard. 

Some of us spend far too long trying to meet the needs and demands of others, in exchange for their conditional love, acceptance or praise. It could be a boss, a parent, or a partner who's got demands, criticisms, particular needs. At first they are only judgmental  about others, but pretty soon, those judgments are directed at you, and if you don't do as they want, be prepared for a storm of hate and anger. Why do we put up with this? Because it's too hard to accept that if someone wants you to change, they don't really like you, so we change instead. We are so afraid we won't be accepted, we'll agree to anything that masquerades as love - but the truth is, love that is conditional is as fraudulent as the person offering it.  So then we find ourselves living out of fear of being unloved at any moment - as if that were possible, if the love was real. Is it any wonder our self-worth is shit? Because deep down we know the other person is settling for us - an...

This star- Part of our constellation Just a picture in the sky Is it the story of creation Or a comet flying by? Call it the legend of a princess Her light shining from on high More than a memory in moonlight- A guiding compass in the night. We've only stars to wish upon A meteor to strike the heart A fire's glow when summer's gone Fireflies to soothe the fright. This candle's burning in the past A foretold destiny - Patterns change, but stories last like Light years woven in a tapestry. And now, there's Only space, Only light.

Excerpt from The Seeker's Guide by  Elizabeth Lesser Old Spirituality ·          Who Has Authority?  The hierarchy has the authority. Church authorities tell you how to worship in church and how to behave outside of church. ·          What Is Spirituality?  God, and the path to worship Him, have already been defined. All you need to do is follow the directions. ·          What Is the Path to God?  There is only one path. It is the right way and all other ways are wrong. ·          What Is Sacred?  Parts of yourself—like the body, or ego, or emotions—are evil. Deny or transcend or sublimate them or they will lead you astray. ·          What Is the Truth?  The truth is like a rock. Your understanding of it should never waver. Therefore ask the sam...

Ever feel like you need to change to be "good enough"? We all have habits or traits we've been told we should change in order to be successful or accepted. What would happen if instead you chose to accept yourself exactly as you are, no ifs, ands or buts? What if growth is not a self-improvement project but a step toward self-actualization? What if it means peeling away layers of bullshit we're accumulated over the years that doesn't serve us anymore? That would mean everything you needed was already within you and you just needed to be open and willing to step into your destiny and welcome into your life what is meant for you. That might mean rejecting limiting beliefs about the right and wrong way to be or to live. It might mean accepting a different outcome than what you originally envisioned. It might even mean changing your environment to better suit your needs. And it's hard to deal with external criticism and judgement about your choices. But it tak...

"The tree doesn't bend its branches  To help the wind make them sway or  To make it easier for the child to climb.  The birds don't question whether the worm  Is a reward - if there, and if not - a punishment.  The grass doesn't work to earn the sun's loving rays  and  The flowers don't wonder if they deserve to be watered  Any more than the squirrel changes the way it buries its food.  The caterpillar does not chase the butterfly to learn how to be better in order to be accepted.  Nature is unconditional, like love: flowing and free."

The wanting self  is the you that didn't get what you wanted or needed in the past, and who worries that you never will. This wanting self thinks it must be "good enough" to receive love, professional success, and desired outcomes in general. So it is constantly on a quest to become, earn and deserve that which it desires. It is particularly drawn to pessimistic outlooks, not because it is inherently negative or flawed in any way, but because it has been conditioned to be alert and fix or correct an external mood or situation in order to be loved, as though love can be earned or deserved. The wanting self gets stuck in patterns created by past experiences of lacking, needing and wanting validation because it fears it will not get a desired outcome "as it is". The wanting self worries it is not successful enough, or clever enough, positive enough or handsome enough. So it tries to fix itself, or the world around it, to create the perfect conditions to receive a...