The wanting self is the you that didn't get what you wanted or needed in the past, and who worries that you never will. This wanting self thinks it must be "good enough" to receive love, professional success, and desired outcomes in general. So it is constantly on a quest to become, earn and deserve that which it desires. It is particularly drawn to pessimistic outlooks, not because it is inherently negative or flawed in any way, but because it has been conditioned to be alert and fix or correct an external mood or situation in order to be loved, as though love can be earned or deserved.
The wanting self gets stuck in patterns created by past experiences of lacking, needing and wanting validation because it fears it will not get a desired outcome "as it is". The wanting self worries it is not successful enough, or clever enough, positive enough or handsome enough. So it tries to fix itself, or the world around it, to create the perfect conditions to receive a desired outcome (that which will prove to itself that it is finally "good enough"). The wanting self blames itself for what goes well or badly - because it believes outcomes are a reflection of self.
When the self can instead accept whatever comes, whatever is, whatever it feels, and whatever it thinks without associating it with a potential outcome, or a reflection of identity, it can finally rest and stop chasing after validation. It will tend and befriend itself, and find peace in the present moment, connecting to the essence of itself, becoming more of itself. The accepting self knows that connection does not happen when you are 'good enough', but when you're willing enough.Willing and open, accepting and embracing whatever comes. The accepting soul is a good friend to itself - it can love without an agenda and be supportive through a process regardless of progress. The accepting self does not resist change, or growth, but it also does not judge itself or push itself toward change or growth as a source of validation.
In relationships, the accepting soul will start to seek the same acceptance externally that it gives itself. The accepting soul will not choose a connection that requests or requires them to change the way they look, feel, act or think. It will find another soul at peace with itself, and acceptance can flow between them, with ease. They can transcend the insecurities and worries of the ego and find the simple joy of being together. There is no need to think about giving when it naturally flows out from you. You are not worried about receiving anything in particular because the connection flows towards you with ease. You can bring your full self to each interaction without worry of being rejected. You can create a safe space for the other to be more of their self and embrace them as they are, no ifs, ands, or buts.
The wanting self gets stuck in patterns created by past experiences of lacking, needing and wanting validation because it fears it will not get a desired outcome "as it is". The wanting self worries it is not successful enough, or clever enough, positive enough or handsome enough. So it tries to fix itself, or the world around it, to create the perfect conditions to receive a desired outcome (that which will prove to itself that it is finally "good enough"). The wanting self blames itself for what goes well or badly - because it believes outcomes are a reflection of self.
When the self can instead accept whatever comes, whatever is, whatever it feels, and whatever it thinks without associating it with a potential outcome, or a reflection of identity, it can finally rest and stop chasing after validation. It will tend and befriend itself, and find peace in the present moment, connecting to the essence of itself, becoming more of itself. The accepting self knows that connection does not happen when you are 'good enough', but when you're willing enough.Willing and open, accepting and embracing whatever comes. The accepting soul is a good friend to itself - it can love without an agenda and be supportive through a process regardless of progress. The accepting self does not resist change, or growth, but it also does not judge itself or push itself toward change or growth as a source of validation.
In relationships, the accepting soul will start to seek the same acceptance externally that it gives itself. The accepting soul will not choose a connection that requests or requires them to change the way they look, feel, act or think. It will find another soul at peace with itself, and acceptance can flow between them, with ease. They can transcend the insecurities and worries of the ego and find the simple joy of being together. There is no need to think about giving when it naturally flows out from you. You are not worried about receiving anything in particular because the connection flows towards you with ease. You can bring your full self to each interaction without worry of being rejected. You can create a safe space for the other to be more of their self and embrace them as they are, no ifs, ands, or buts.
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