Live your best life

When you are a light, you deserve to shine brighter next to another light, not someone who looks to you to illuminate them. That's why I think being needed is less of a compliment than being desired and loved.  I watched an episode of "13 reasons why" yesterday, and this line struck me: " I can let you go, and still love you."  The people who can love like this have figured out love. Love is unconditional - but that also means you're not sacrificing the self for the relationship.  The best relationships bring out your shine - they make your light even brighter, and together you illuminate the world around you. So often we confuse love with need. We think we need another person to make us happy. We think if we can meet someone's needs, that is love. But love is so far beyond need. If you're stuck on the level of need, you're not experiencing the fullness of love. Love is rich and resplendent - until you need nothing and simply desire and ...

When I'm in your presence It calls to mind remnants, fragments of memories Of past poets sitting in garrets. The moon shines so clearly, The light floods our eyes and any Reservations are carried away by fireflies. Your touch is at once tantalizing While my fears are agonizing Your response is mesmerizing. If you were mine I'd believe in the illusion There's be no hesitation As I made resolutions All the lyricists, versifiers, creators before us Couldn't express all the ways I adore you. Is there such a thing as possessed and un-damned? Can you have peaceful mutiny? Or a passion held steadfastly? They say we're crazy, For wanting these lies How did we materialize them? What a perfect surprise.

The only thing that separated me from those who didn't make it Is that I never lost hope. No matter how impossible it may have seemed, I would not believe The dream that was placed in my heart Would not come to fruition. I did not accept that the universe was a cruel place Where destiny merely blossoms for a few months Just to fade into nothingness. You will find In the end That my love Kept hope alive My love gave me life I always knew the best was yet to come And this gave me strength To carry on To find happiness in small moments Where I did not have the great. I kept my focus on me On becoming the person I needed to be To be worthy of receiving my dream To be ready to receive it all And not lose it through folly and carelessness. I was afraid, And still I carried on. I was weak, So I trained harder. I was humbled, And I rose up better than before. I was hurt, but I healed beautifully. I was determined. There was a fire that burned within ...

Aside from this blog, I regularly post on LinkedIn. As most professionals on there, I am the classic example of an achiever. But when it comes to fulfillment? Most days it feels like I fail. I know that I am committed to growth in this area - to cultivating and refining the art of fulfillment. This year I started a happiness project, where I mindfully chose, with a friend (because connection is part of fulfillment) intentional ways to make myself happier. Positive thinking, gratitude, creativity, connection were all part of the tasks we assigned to ourselves to cultivate more happiness. They say simply struggling with the big questions ensures you will live a meaningful existence. I think it has to do more with meeting your primary needs - which differ for everyone. NEEDS OF THE PERSONALITY: CERTAINTY - need for safety, security, comfort, order, predictability, control, and consistency VARIETY - need for surprise, challenge, excitement, difference, chaos, adventure, change a...

Your subconscious mind is like a huge memory bank, storing experiences and beliefs acquired mostly from before the age of 7.  It  is able to process extreme quantities of information from all of your senses and then translate them back to your brain. Your subconscious mind makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept, your “master program.” Your conscious mind  commands  and your subconscious mind  obeys - it takes everything literally. It is unable to distinguish imagination from reality or try to apply logic to your thoughts.  Your subconscious mind is habit based, causing you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different or to change any of your established patterns of behavior. Dreams are the creation of your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind controls 95% of your life, it's always awake. It emerges to the surface when you are fully relaxed.  You...

Choose to be with yourself You are valuable Ask yourself for advice Instead of asking others Observe ordinary situations Understand what is around you Close your eyes in a dark room And appreciate the silence What do you see? Listen to your inner voice Be kind to yourself Cherish every interaction Nothing is boring You're just not paying enough attention Don't stagnate; change something Don't fill your quiet time with mindless entertainment Instead, seek out answers to your inner questions Create something meaningful Lose yourself in it Pursue your plans and dreams Immediately and every day. Do not wait. Do something alone, enjoy it! Start something that scares you. Get in over your head. Volunteer your time for a cause you believe in. Give and give again, and then give some more. Laugh every day.

What is love without suffering? What comes easily has so little love in it. What is love without fear? If you're not scared of being hurt, you're not doing it right. Lust is materialism Loving things, using people Love is self giving, A promise upheld daily I want the best for you No matter how much it hurts me I give all of myself to you Holding nothing back, surrendering. See into me, try intimacy Do not possess me Rather caress me Understand me Love is motivated by the needs of the other Nothing you ask is ever too much When you give and you give And forget just how much Love is not an emotion, But how I choose to live, forever with you.

If I asked you what you're thinking All I'd hear are lies You say not to overthink it, But I'm scared to be surprised. I wish you'd touch my feelings Before touching my body I wish you'd get to know me Before saying you love me Your hard heart won't forgive And all the tears I cry, Won't be enough to melt it. Too caught up in the past. Too worried about the future. Do you think of me? As much as you think of you? I could use some company Time flies while I wait for you.

Perhaps I've over-analyzed things. I usually do. It could have all been very simple. Begin an extraordinary story with the most ordinary day - because really, the best stories are the ones you never see coming, that you would never expect will end the way they do. Far-fetched an magical, they are extraordinary because they surprise you.

I'm hearing laughter ring out somewhere down the hall I see that statue moving up against the wall I think I'm losing my perception of reality Is the ground rippling or is it me? Feeling lost in a daze I can't see clearly Everything is covered in a misty haze I smell fire coming out of that closed room I hear the crackling logs, I'll be there soon On my tongue I swear I taste the ash Am I intoxicated? I thought for sure we were going to crash I'm getting chills out here alone, But you say there's no reason for me to cry Are you still here or did we die? I don't think I should take this pill Yes, I know I feel ill, Still. Still.

There is a real difference between pretending to be ok and actually being ok. The problem is, most of us have been conditioned from a young age to numb our feelings and silence our hearts. So we become unable to distinguish reality from pretense and live in a misery that makes no sense, because it "seems" we have everything. Except whatever the little voice inside our hearts is calling for... Your heart knows everything, just get quiet and listen.

I am actually writing this to myself so that the next time I have fear, or lack faith, or lose hope, I can remember: Have a great day, future me, comforted in the thought that you would not have a desire in your heart, if it is not meant to come to pass. 

Forgiveness is a choice. It doesn't mean that you forget or you say what someone did was ok. You choose to forgive for what was done to you - real or perceived. Holding on to hatred is pervasive - it doesn't just focus anger and bitterness towards one person - it colours everything. If you can't give it up, it will impact everything you see, touch, hear and experience. Saying that you need someone to "do something different" before you can forgive them is giving someone else the responsibility that you hold. They do not have the power to make you forgive them, it's exclusively your choice. Your solution lies in your own accountability.

1) The Law of Divine Oneness We are all interconnected parts of a universe in motion.  2) The Law of Vibration We all resonate at frequencies that move in circles (what goes around comes around). 3) The Law of Action We must engage in actions that support our thoughts, feelings, dreams, and words in order to manifest external results.  4) The Law of Correspondence The macrocosm reflects the microcosm. Our inner world is reflected externally - we are responsible for our lives.  5) The Law of Cause and Effect Every action has a reaction - nothing is by chance.  6) The Law of Compensation We are compensated in measure to the direct and indirect actions carried out in our lives. 7) The Law of Attraction We create the people, events and things that come into our lives. Like attracts like. You attract what you are and do - not what you want.  8) The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy We all have power within us to change any condition in ou...

What is life without an afternoon spent giggling? What is an experience if you don't allow yourself to feel wonder? I hope you never take yourself so seriously that you stop singing into your hair dryer or having impromptu dance parties. I hope you love yourself as much as you love others and that that love is absolutely limitless. I hope you're never too afraid to try new things, go to new places or open your heart to new people. I hope you grow through it instead of going through it, whatever "it" is. I hope you always choose kindness and generosity over righteousness and selfishness. I hope you keep an open mind and always find the good in people and situations. I hope you stay true to yourself, speak honestly and allow yourself to be vulnerable with the right people, and never lose yourself for the sake of keeping someone or something. I hope you find magic in the ordinary. I hope there is a place of stillness in your heart always. I hope you listen more than you...

Not being true to myself - minimizing my desires to pacify those around me Working too hard - not enjoying life, chasing achievement Keeping my feelings hidden - being too scared to be vulnerable, pretending Losing touch with people - prioritizing the wrong things Suffering - not allowing myself to be happy

Would you mind dreaming with me a little while longer Because I'm not finished with you yet You tell me not to remember But I don't want to forget It may not be perfect, nor am I, neither are you But you bring me something I can hold on to It helps me surrender It helps me advance And most of all, you already know, It makes my soul dance.

Has it ever occurred to you that we might have been fashioned for a purpose? That we spend our whole life in preparation and anticipation of encountering this moment or this person or this thing we are meant to experience? And all along there were little signs, and big lessons, that bring us to exactly where we need to be. It could be images, words, longings, feelings - that one day, suddenly make perfect sense. So however things pan out, how can we worry? It was always meant to be.

My mind is pregnant with the burdens of my own device and all the inner parts of me are at battle. My wits are forever disagreeing with my heart and my morals perpetually challenge the desires of my soul. There is unrest and hatred between them all. I suspect it is because I keep trying to quiet the true longings within by occupying myself with the trappings without. How wonderful it must be for those whose insides live in peace.

Not mine No framework No history No possibility No future No chance No reciprocity Just a moment suspended in time Forever perfect, because it died young.

What will you do when everything you've been looking for looks right back?  Are you ready to receive everything you've been longing for? Most of us are not: we feel unworthy and end up self-sabotaging or running away.  Sometimes we are unwilling to sacrifice "good enough" for what we really want, and other times we choose safety over the potential pain of losing the very thing we are being offered.  Losing something you don't care that much about is bearable, but the potential pain of losing everything you've ever wanted is soul-crushingly terrifying. And yet, without the willingness to take that risk, you'll never get the chance to know how truly amazing it could be to have it.  The real work of life is to prepare to receive that which your soul longs for, because although we hate to admit it, we are the only thing standing between us and our dreams. 

In the past two years, I've learned all the ways one cannot fill a void. The conclusion I came to is some people, things and places are irreplaceable. Denying this fact only makes it hurt that much harder. We don't always have the choice to get something back. But we can choose to pretend it never mattered and try to move on (and deny our feelings, and thoughts and dreams and desires) or we can accept the pain of loss and cherish the experiences and the memories for which we will mourn and long forever. And that hurts too, but there is some sweetness to it, some grace and an undercurrent of hope running through it.

I watched a TED Talk where apparently the key to figuring out your life's purpose is as easy as answering the following 5 questions. Give it a try and see what comes up for you: 1. Who are you 2. What do you do 3. Who do you do it for 4. What do they want or need 5. How have they changed as a result of what you do Notably, only the first two points are about you. The last three are about your impact on others.

And there, I found myself. My reflection in those eyes showing me how much more brilliant than I ever thought or ever knew I was. To see myself through another's eyes was to see myself brand new, shiny, and perfect in all my imperfections, not despite them. I will forever be grateful to this human being for bringing me back to me, for creating a safe space where I could explore who I was on a deeper level and still be accepted and supported and admired. Someone who could bring comfort and inspiration all at once. Because someone believed in me, when I had forgotten how to believe in myself, I could stay and still feel free. The most vulnerable moment was in trusting me to trust them. That one could meet me fully was enough for me to open myself up and grow. So beautiful, the things one knew resided in my soul before I ever had a clue. This person opened the door to limitless possibilities for me, and yet demanded nothing. We did not just give and receive love. Together, we became l...

A soul in agony These wild thoughts won't let me be Careful how you look at me I will implode I will not cry, at least not here I'm scared to leave Too shy to try At your mercy But you're so kind I fear I leave myself behind A piece of me For a piece of you Faithfully, I cling to you.

I dream of you I cannot help it You come to me when I least expect it You startle me and I jolt awake This heart will not take a break It beats incessantly for you For who you are and all you do I dream of you but I'm awake My soul is fully yours to take There's nothing else for me to do But sit around and think of you And think of me, and what could be.

Leave me be My heart is too consistent Too free with feeling I can't bear the pain Selflessly, I've learned to grieve To love, without reservation, To give without hesitation To hold, and always cherish To nurture and respect But I am a human And I need relief From this love The burden that I bear Without anyone aware A hundred years from now This light will still burn bright How sad that life will not compare To these days spent splashing in the puddles Our happiness together, doubled.

Now it's time to walk away But all I want is just to stay Can't we keep it the same way First it hurts Then it relieves I know that I need to grieve Why do I so need to go? When all I want is standing here Reflecting back all of this year And our deep pact To always care, to always share No other friendship can compare And yet it's here This strange goodbye I cannot look you in the eye I cannot leave the one I love I cannot stay and give you up What do I do? How can this be? All of your love belongs to me.

You're going to wonder about me Your whole life you'll think of what we used to be And you'll smile so happily And dream so longingly You know you're always going to miss me. You'll remember all the jokes All the talks and all the hopes And you'll wrestle, and you'll ponder And you'll always wonder What it might have been You'll regret this moment passed And you'll want to make it last And you'll never, ever forgive yourself For letting me go When more than anything, You wanted me to stay I know this, Because I feel the same.

As a huge enthusiast, I can confirm you are so much more than good enough. Some places and people cannot appreciate or reward you, but this does not diminish your worth. Your value is neither variable nor contingent on external factors. I have 150% faith in you, whatever your next move. I'm jealous I can't be the person you come home to, so I could convince you of it. You deserve more. You deserve better. I wish I could spend my whole life loving you through everything.

Maybe I'm too fickle For a lifetime love It's always better at the start People aren't set up from above Maybe I like heartbreak better Than happiness with you Maybe somewhere deep inside I don't feel worthy too. All I know is for the first time I was willing to try Once in this whole lifetime I found a reason why But here I stand alone now Missing this and you How do I go on now? How do I know what's true?

A smattering of clouds gliding across a clear blue sky A delighted squeal from a child playing in the park The joyful bark of a dog fetching a ball in the grass The quiet chatter of parents and grandparents on the sidelines The birds chirping and the leaves rustling in the wind The breeze blowing on my face The sun shining on my skin

Hope flows out of my mouth But uncertainty hides inside Reaching out to hold a hand But holding back at times Fear swirls around me now My breath slows and I pause I analyze too much, I think For all the reasons why But do they matter Do they count How will it change things anyway? Who knows my secret Who cares to stay Who takes it all away

The words on these pages Die along with the ones un-uttered The fears expressed, I can't explain I guess you've got a stronger reason to fight this than I do But I can't help it, I'm still drawn to you Why do we stay Why do we go I can't seem to take it slow Take it easy, I could try It's easier when you're by my side I need you to calm my nerves I'm more comfortable when you're in my periphery When times are good, I turn to you When things are south, I need you Peace and calmness when I see you The weight is lifted And memories linger My heart beats in anticipation I'm home now I feel you, feeling me No more fear No more regret No blame No judgement Just us two in an eternal moment I could choose you Day after day Steady, unrelenting hope Surviving the test of time.

And they fell in love Innocently, purely With the best of intentions Swept away by feelings Too strong to ignore But despite their hearts' desires They weren't free The timing was off The world kept them apart And it hurt them both To find something that's so perfect And to have to give it up And they missed each other In small moments and deep within their souls All the rest of their days Whether they let on, or not.

People first: You overthink things, you try your best, you create, wherever you are, you never disappoint. Colour flows from your fingertips, you make the sun shine through your positive energy, you are incredibly well organized, but understand that not everyone is. Wishes: I wish for you to be stupidly happy all the rest of your days, moment by meaningful moment. I wish for you to land in a place that always recognizes you for your inner beauty and appreciates your external beauty. Also, that pauses with you :) when YOU need it. Favorite memory: I'm not picking just one, because I'm a rebel like that. It was everything, not just one thing. Some memorable moments: questions and sharing, walking in the snow, arctic date, cottage times. The day you returned from Europe, inhaling you and realizing how much I missed you, and the impact you had (to then) on my life. Hot chocolate, Muskoka chairs, you reading the first time to me. Wishes unrealized: Beach vacation together....

When nothing is changing This is not for me Just a hope of something more I need more than a maybe Lukewarm doesn't heat me It's not that I'm impatient It's that I feel too much And you do not feel enough It's hard to forget It's hard to move forward When it hasn't happened yet I need to be shown something That I've never known before I need to feel encountered Someone to believe in me Someone to take a chance I want to be chosen Despite all circumstance

There's nothing in me to give No willingness to forgive No joy and laughter in my heart I do not have love So I set myself apart I'm running on empty The connections are dead There's nothing to see here I'm lost in my head The best of me is gone And now I remain An angry facade To mask all the pain No light shines on my darkness So I am dull No one to revive the magic I don't feel a pull

When they forget, forgive When they err, encourage Don't neglect personal value Don't reject potential Do not shame Flaws are part of who we are Accept compassionate Strive to grow together Maintain limits Set boundaries Say what you need, want, respect or expect - clearly Fight fair Don't hold grudges