In the past two years, I've learned all the ways one cannot fill a void. The conclusion I came to is some people, things and places are irreplaceable. Denying this fact only makes it hurt that much harder. We don't always have the choice to get something back. But we can choose to pretend it never mattered and try to move on (and deny our feelings, and thoughts and dreams and desires) or we can accept the pain of loss and cherish the experiences and the memories for which we will mourn and long forever. And that hurts too, but there is some sweetness to it, some grace and an undercurrent of hope running through it.
Sometimes you can get stuck in a relationship: You're in a constant state of trigger (fight/ flight/ freeze) instead of feeling intimately connected You've become two old stories instead of two open hearts You're scared or angry most of the time instead of feeling free and authentic It's heavy and complicated instead of light and playful There is more effort placed on control and strategy than growth and gratitude You are there because of a commitment, because you feel you “should”, not because you want to be. What can you do? You basically have 3 options: 1. Stay . Continue the slow, painful process of losing yourself in order to keep the relationship. 2. Let it go . Sacrifice your relationship to save your soul. 3. Change . You both have to be willing and capable of growing together. The goal here is to see if you can get back to love without sacrificing your authentic selves in the process. To do this, you must remove the idea of promises, attachment...
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