Compassion = pain without suffering

To understand one another and ourselves, we need the courage to be compassionately curious, that is, to become comfortable with not knowing while holding each other in unconditional positive regard. Without the acceptance of uncertainty, love is conditional - self-serving and manipulative.

Everyone is so terrified of the core existential pain of life that we've all spent most of our life avoiding it. We believe that because we could not handle it as children, we can't handle it now. And this is so untrue. We CAN handle pain - but only with compassion. We cannot handle it alone, and we cannot handle it by resisting it. 

When we compassionately handle our pain, we have no need to judge, withdraw, disconnect, criticize, get angry, resist, or turn to substance or process addictions. We bypass all the things we do that cause our suffering.