You'd love it here. You'd love the 90s music, the hipsters, the chipper servers and the rustic decor, with the exposed pipes and unfinished wood. You'd enjoy the artisenal coffee and the British history documentary projected on the back wall. You'd get a real kick out of the guys in hoodies with their headphones on, and the girls in newscaps, with their laptops that have the funky designs. I could picture you paying particular attention to the older lady with the chic reading glasses, perusing the newspaper that's sprawled all over her table.
I miss sharing moments and people watching with you. It makes me even more sad that we can't share the big life stuff as it happens, because we're so awesome at it. I miss being with you every day. It's so hard to live in this new reality characterized by distance and separation, where there was once intimate closeness.
I feel like I take you with me everywhere I go. You're always on my mind. You're always in my heart. You've become a part of me, not a memory. To forget you would be like tearing out a vital organ from my body and expecting to keep on living. It isn't possible and no one in their right mind would want to.
They say it passes. They say it gets easier. Tine goes by and yet nothing changes. Perhaps people don't recover from love when there was no heartbreak. Perhaps people aren't meant to move on from friendships that transformed their lives for the better. It makes no sense to diminish that which has enriched you.
Times like these you just watch your heart grow bigger, your eyes get wider and the only thing you can do is say 'thank you'. You always remember. You always rejoice. You wish only the best, you hope for the best, you dream in more colour. You allow the world to continue, alive with the knowledge of the magic that one person can bring into your soul. Those who are there in the darkest of times are the light, and the light burns eternally inside you. The only thing you can do is bring all that love to the world, never losing sight of the beauty that created it.
Sometimes you can get stuck in a relationship: You're in a constant state of trigger (fight/ flight/ freeze) instead of feeling intimately connected You've become two old stories instead of two open hearts You're scared or angry most of the time instead of feeling free and authentic It's heavy and complicated instead of light and playful There is more effort placed on control and strategy than growth and gratitude You are there because of a commitment, because you feel you “should”, not because you want to be. What can you do? You basically have 3 options: 1. Stay . Continue the slow, painful process of losing yourself in order to keep the relationship. 2. Let it go . Sacrifice your relationship to save your soul. 3. Change . You both have to be willing and capable of growing together. The goal here is to see if you can get back to love without sacrificing your authentic selves in the process. To do this, you must remove the idea of promises, attachment...
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