My #1 job is parenting. I try to do it consciously, with the intent of raising a successful, loveable, mindful, and self-sufficient adult. As such, I do not place my own need for control above my daughter's moral development. To ask a child to obey your command without question in order to receive your praise or avoid punishment is the equivalent of conditional love. And I love her unconditionally.
It may take longer to get to "yes", it may involve asking questions instead of issuing orders, it may be providing more choices, it may mean giving her language to identify and express difficult emotions instead of reacting to them, and negotiating limits instead of setting them on my own...
Is this draining on me? Sure! But 20 years from now, this child will have had a secure attachment from which to draw strength and life skills.
It may take longer to get to "yes", it may involve asking questions instead of issuing orders, it may be providing more choices, it may mean giving her language to identify and express difficult emotions instead of reacting to them, and negotiating limits instead of setting them on my own...
Is this draining on me? Sure! But 20 years from now, this child will have had a secure attachment from which to draw strength and life skills.
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