Never have I heard as much apologizing as I do in a crowded, public women's washroom. We apologize and preface everything we say with an air of undeserved worth and it needs to change. The Kavanaugh hearing made us all angry. And yet, how many of us are willing and able to stand up and fight for ourselves and all women? We need to start socializing girls to understand that their needs are just as, if not more important than those of others. And to fight for those needs to be met. Respectfully, with dignity and strength and firmness.
We need to help girls practice asking for what they want fearlessly in order to raise women who can develop identities separate from peacemakers, relationship seekers and nice, well-behaved ladies. We need women to rediscover their inherent value and act like it!
I think it starts with speaking up. I've been reading "A woman's guide to successful negotiating" and they suggest it all comes down to confidence, preparation, being convincing and willing to walk away. These are all pretty simple and basic things men have had ingrained in them since childhood. Why do women need a book to tell them how to do it?
Sometimes you can get stuck in a relationship: You're in a constant state of trigger (fight/ flight/ freeze) instead of feeling intimately connected You've become two old stories instead of two open hearts You're scared or angry most of the time instead of feeling free and authentic It's heavy and complicated instead of light and playful There is more effort placed on control and strategy than growth and gratitude You are there because of a commitment, because you feel you “should”, not because you want to be. What can you do? You basically have 3 options: 1. Stay . Continue the slow, painful process of losing yourself in order to keep the relationship. 2. Let it go . Sacrifice your relationship to save your soul. 3. Change . You both have to be willing and capable of growing together. The goal here is to see if you can get back to love without sacrificing your authentic selves in the process. To do this, you must remove the idea of promises, attachment...
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