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10 year vows

I won't promise perfection.
I promise that after a fight, or a hurt, or a misunderstanding, I will reflect on it, from your perspective as well as mine.
I will try to be humble, knowing I won't ever have all the answers.
I will remember we are both human and deserving of compassion, kindness and understanding - and that this matters more than anything else we are in conflict over at the moment.
I promise to try first, and try again.
I will make mistakes. I know I will drive you crazy, and screw up and I hope when you bring it up - you do so kindly, compassionately and with understanding - that I will have cultivated enough self-love, resilience and strength, that I don't get defensive and shut down, or counterattack. I will try to own up to my messes and not blame you for my failures.
When we fight, I will spend more energy on listening to you and trying to understand you than I do on getting my own point across.
I will try to bring 10 times more joy, laughter and positivity than sadness, anger and negativity into the space we share together that is our relationship. I will not knowingly or intentionally bring toxic matter into this space, or take out more than I put in.
My goal is to respect and honour this space with my words and with my actions. I know I will need help and reminders.
I will continue increasing my capacity for patience and love. With your support, I will work on growing my heart, so that I can love myself, and absolve you of the responsibility for my happiness, my healing, taking away my loneliness, making me feel beautiful and smart and everything I think I need to feel worthy.
I will remember my inherent worth so that I can remember yours as well.
I promise to do a nice act of service for you whenever I see you're upset, or tired, or overwhelmed, without expecting appreciation in return. I promise to notice and verbally acknowledge the things you do well and to encourage you in the things you want to do.
I won't promise perfection, but I think if I can give you these things and you give me the same in return, this will be the best relationship we can have.

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