Contradictions (Push and Pull)

First you light it
Then you send it
First you fight it
Then defend it
You won't admit it
But you can't end it
You say you can't share it
But you're willing to lend it
And while you straighten it
You think of how to bend it
I think you finally understand it
But you still pretend it

How long does that last?
Not more than a moment
When your eyes betray your heart
And your body, traitorous fool
Isn't capable of ignoring this
And your mind, it gives no rest,
But replays every single little death
When her heart stops beating
And the world is at rest
All you can see is her
And you're at your best

You hear all her words
You dream of what you'd do
If only people knew
How it torments you

You feel shacked
This prison can't be escaped
And so it's better to just miss her
Than for this to be erased.