Grief and love

The holidays can be a difficult time when you've lost someone.

Last year, Christmas barely registered with me. I walked around in a daze, confused as to why people cared about anything at all.

This year, there are a lot of conflicting emotions. I oscillate between finding joy and gratitude in my favorite time of year and the nostalgia of sights, sounds and scents overtaking the present. 

I think it's ok for both of these things to happen. It's ok to sometimes hide out in your bed with a book and a cup of coffee and forget about the holidays and all the painful emotions. It's ok to cry if a beautiful memory is triggered by a touching moment. It's ok to throw your head back and laugh wholeheartedly when it starts to snow and everything feels magical.

Life is all of these things. Death does not end feelings, or relationships, or memories. Be patient with your heart, with your mind and remember that you grieve because you love. And it's always worth it to love.