Live your best life

I grip the earth with my toes and I swear I can feel the planet moving / the dips and grooves of uneven patches of grass make it hard to keep my balance. / I am planet surfing / riding the heat wave / while the wind ruffles my hair affectionately. / The leaves bow down to me and fan me in the shade / the butterflies kiss me. / I am here and I am alive / with the birds and the worms as my witnesses. / I am fleeting summer orbiting the eternal warmth of the sun.

The coffee is brewing I hear footsteps the door The meeting is starting Dirty clothes are on the floor The teacher is waiting  My boss is talking Put on your mask and go get the shopping Wave to the neighbours Call up your friends Spend endless hours  Asking when it ends Walk off the madness Sleep off the dread Sitting here writing While others make bread Be every woman And all before five Get in a workout Make up your eyes Time to make dinner Though you'd rather dine out Sip on a beer  And scroll til you shout The parks are now open but the playground is not The camps have been cancelled June has been hot Surrounded by papers and never alone The months feel longer the more I am home. 

I keep you alive in my memories You are trapped within the keepsakes I hear your laughter when I bake And your sighs have become mine When I rest in my comfy chair The way you used to do.

Challenging myself and the women I know to speak up at work without hedging, apologizing, qualifying or undermining for a week and see how it feels.  My aspiration is that one day women can simply focus on doing their work well without the distraction of people pleasing tendencies. I say this with full awareness and compassion for the deep roots of historical conditioning: when women lack physical, financial, or legal power, the approval of others is essential to survival.  But, careers depend on how you highlight your competence, not just your likeability.  So let's start with the way we talk. Let's look within and speak with confidence, knowing we have just as much right to sit at the table, to share ideas and to make meaningful contributions. We don't have to shrink and hide our brilliance to make others comfortable in the presence of a strong, intelligent woman.  #challengeyourself

They beat the slaves  And raped the housekeepers Then they kept their children away As if their own despicable actions weren't inheritable But the melanin rich skin could soil their lily-white hatred. First they used Then they abused And to justify their aggression They preached supremacy And black lives were oppressed Devalued, degraded, defaced.  They mocked the people  (Forced to smile at their master's cruelty) By painting their milky faces and burning blacks alive.  And when the panthers fought back They called them violent animals And accused them of counterfeit crimes.  Subversively they taught the people of colour To play the white game or be shot. Lack of opportunity was 'their own fault' And systemic discrimination meant 'try harder', 'be whiter' But the rules didn't allow for winning.  If the white people were outdone, it was 'affirmative action'. So they learned being voiceless was less dangerous Than making the white people uncom...

I am the angry woman I'm bleeding white-hot rage My fury of tears will drown you You should all feel afraid.  My tongue is poised for lashing My feet are here to crush My lungs are filled with fire I cannot stop the rush. My skin is scalding ashes  Of a burning, ember heart My words beat down like hail My screams are lightning darts. Watch me drink the poison And wait for you to die I am the angry woman But you all think I lie. 

Is it pride that keeps me silent?  I am disconsolate that loneliness Is the home I'll inhabit  Until I outgrow it Like the hermit crab,  Unattached And weighed down by  The things he carries In the shell he wears with pride. Or is it dread? Am I afraid I never mattered at all? Do I hold back because of how I might look to you: Foolish - like a love-sick schoolgirl Worrying that you don't care at all And that my fear and pride  Are unfounded and unreal Because I do not exist for you.  This was not my choice.  But you were never really here at all.  Now the tears.  Why should I suffer?  And yet, I cannot reason pain away.  I am still trying to outrun it As if going round in circles Means I'm moving on.  I could admit my own mistake And the madness that possessed me I could excuse it And anyone would understand,  I think. But I can't fathom why it lingers, Why I'm frozen and still bound By a grief that will not go away. ...

Loss is grief And grief is painful It makes you learn  Just what you're made of. You might grow  And you will change And your whole life could rearrange. But in the end You must decide Is it enough to just survive Or will you allow yourself to thrive? They could laugh And they might cry... Well, it's not on them  To save your life.  You may betray You could forgive It's for yourself  That you must live. 

Fellow white people... Staying silent for a day is not the answer ( #blackouttuesday ). It also doesn't help denying your own racist indoctrination. It is real. It affects your "black and POC friends" and it shapes the world you are part of. So talk about it - to your kids, to your friends, at work - until there is more understanding, more empathy and more inclusion. And then, start looking for ways to take action. What can you do to reduce the indoctrination of your own kids? How can you contribute to and support a positive movement in your community? How can you speak up for human rights at work? We are all responsible for creating the world we live in. #blacklivesmatter